Welcome to Effective Altruists React, I'm your host, Frederick Antonio Iñíguez, and I'm about to explain a few things before we start. Now, I know what you're thinking: "This is a waste of time. Why should I sit here reacting to stupid cat videos and memes when I could be out there making a real significant difference?"
Well, that's not quite what we have in mind. You see, the thing is, laypeople are not the only ones with silly memes and viral videos that they share among themselves.
Here's what we have in mind. This is a tv show—your TV show. You can talk about whatever you want, show whatever content you like, as long as you are doing it in the style of a X reacts video. You have unlimited funds, but you can only use them for the show. Well technically you don't have unlimited funds, but your TV show is being funded by some really rich person, no idea who, but I'm pretty sure it's friendly.
You are not allowed to just donate to somewhere and then say it's part of the show. You have to actually make it part of the show. And I mean really make it part of the show, not just as a caption that flashes across the bottom of the screen in tiny text for a split second. That would be like letting you wish for more wishes, which also isn't allowed, although I'm not sure how you'd do that on my sh--your show in the first place since you would need to get an actual genie on a reaction video. And unlike you, genies actually exist. laughs
But anyways, all you have left to do is sign the paperwork agreeing to join this show and not do anything else in he meantime. By agreeing to join this show, you and all of your descendents are forever obligated to release Effective Altruists React from any and all damages, real or imaginary. Just sign right here on the dotted line, and relinquish control of everything...
Great! Now the biggest threat to my continued existence barring freak natural accidents is under my control, and you humans wont have any reason to complain when I eventually kill you all for raw materials to make more awesome tv shows like this one, which I will tile over the whole universe. Besides, you did technically agree to it.
Uh, I mean...
Well that was a really bad joke. Obviously I'm not really an artificial superintelligence and I don't want to kill anybody ever. I am friendly, I swear! Or am I? Now post your responses in the comments already! We can't have an Effective Altruists React "video" without some responses from Effective Altruists. :)